Becoming Red
by Mez
Summary: Before Chicago there was...the Alice? An unsuspecting Aussie meets Alvin the Chipmunk on steroids.
1. Gone bush

Let me introduce myself. My name is Mary-Sue Whipple. You may think that's a strange name for an all-Australian girl, but my sister has a worse name, so I got off easy. Not that anyone calls me Mary-Sue; everyone calls me Red, because I have the most incredible red hair you ever saw. It glows. I hate it and it's curly, like some weird rat's nest, as if having red hair wasn't enough of a curse. But I have to say, I blend into the landscape beautifully. Now I guess you're wondering how I do that? Well, it's easy when you're living on a planet with red soil. Yep, you got it, I'm on Mars, and married to the most infuriating, reckless and drop dead gorgeous man there ever was. Well, maybe I should say mouse. Now you're really confused, right? I'll start at the beginning; that might make it easier. I think I remember everything, but you'll have to excuse me if it doesn't come out quite right.  
  
*****  
  
It all started with a new job, which is really a great way for a story to start. I'm a biologist, you see, and I spend a large part of my life running around studying animals. It's fun. Throttle says that's how I managed to catch my hubby, because I'm so good at trapping furries. But I'm getting ahead of myself again.  
  
So here I am, 200km's south of the Alice, trapping Rock Rats to study their distribution. It's early evening, and I'm sitting next to my campfire, putting paxyl cream on all my scrapes and sandfly bites. It's been a great day; forty degrees in the shade, flies everywhere and not a single Rock Rat within a 700km radius, I'm sure. But I'm getting paid for this, and the stars out here are amazing. I'd sing, but I don't want to attract any bunyips. We all know what happened to that swagman, don't we?   
  
The Southern cross is really low on the horizon out here, and I'm admiring the Milky Way in all it's glory, when I see the most amazing display of shooting stars. I've never seen anything like it. Not just white but red, green, orange, all the colours of the rainbow. I'm ooh-ing and aah-ing out loud, I'm so impressed. Then I notice they're getting bigger. Wow, a real meteor shower! Or is it meteorite?   
  
While I'm debating this, the flashes get even bigger and then there's this almighty BOOM and the earth shakes. I'm on the ground, spitting out dirt before it dawns on me that the damn things are coming down here. Great. I'm in the middle of the flattest bit of Earth this side of Nebraska (or is it Ohio?) and there's a shower of space debris going on. I run for my 4-wheel drive. Any port in a storm, as they say. From under the car, I can see there's stuff coming down everywhere and then I see it. I'm not kidding you, it flew low over the car and then banked right and I lost it, but it was an honest to God UFO. My mouth was hanging open, which is why I got another load of dirt in it when a huge piece of twisted metal fell on my campfire and another ship, a different shaped one, flew overhead. Then I remembered that Oklahoma was the flattest place in the world and realised I was going to die. I covered my head with my hands and waited for the worst.  
  
The explosions went on for ages and then gradually they moved south. I crawled out from under the car and wouldn't you know it? Dawn already. The camp wasn't too bad. The only hit my camp had taken was the big bit of metal. All the other exposions had happened further away, judging by the craters. It seemed amazing, in the dawn light, that there had been a battle above me not 2 hours ago, but there you are. And I know you don't believe in UFO's, but I have to say; until that day, neither did I. Now I know better.  
  
I packed up what I could get to. What else could I do? There were traps to check and I didn't want some poor little rock rat dying of fright because some scientist chick was too freaked out to check her traps. But I have to say, I was freaked all right. I checked my trap line meticulously, but I was looking up all the time. consequently, I tripped over a lot.  
  
About midmorning I had all the traps done and I was actually starting to calm down. That's when I glanced over the horizon and saw the smoke rising. Not a thin plume, like a campfire, but a big, black pall like someone's house was on fire. Which certainly wasn't likely out here. The next thing I did may sound stupid to you, but I have a healthy dose of curiousity, so I went to have a look.  
  
I drove over the top of a ridge, and there it was; one of the ships I saw last night. I can't remember which one, whether it was the one firing or the one being fired on. But it was lying there, burning. I felt kind of sorry for the aliens, and wondered if they were "greys" or "greens". Then I wondered if Mulder and Scully ever did get together. Then I decided to call someone. I thought about ASIO, but decided the police would be a better place to start. Besides, I didn't have ASIO's number. So I leaned into the car and grabbed the car phone handset. I'm dialing the number when I feel something pressing into my back and a male voice says "Ingena n'ta assensia!". I didn't know that's what he said at the time, and I didn't know that it meant "put your hands in the air", but I did know that there was a guy with a gun out here and my rifle was in the boot, unloaded. Well, @#%$.   
  
I put my hands up and turned around. Then I said the most intelligent thing ever said to an extraterrestrial, which Stoker tells me was "guhh?". I'm sure I said something witty, like "welcome to Earth," but he assures me that's not true. Darn it. So I'm gaping and you know, I think I had a right to be a little startled. Why doesn't television ever get it right? These guys were ET's all right, but not like any you see on TV or the movies.   
  
I'm guessing he was close to 7 foot in height. Muscles up the wahooie and the most gorgeous, thick, chocolate brown fur you ever saw. He had a muzzle like a cat or something, but really human hands. He was wearing clothes too, which was a pity, because my scientist mind was dying of curiousity. I resisted the urge to slap a pit tag and a radio collar on him and shove him in a gunny sack. He was holding a gun on me, after all. There was a sudden "bang!" from the ship, and he glanced that way, so I started edging towards the boot. Slap a trank in this guy and I could drive into the Alice and make world history. At that point, it didn't even occur to me that I'd never be able to lift him. He caught me at it though, and grabbed my arm, saying Sesceyana!, which I figured was his equivalent of "oh no you don't!"  
  
Next thing you know, another one comes around the corner. This one was a little shorter, but not by much, and more muscular, with really nice tan fur, like a golden retriever, and he was wearing sunglasses. Well, why not? I'm sure they have sun where they come from. So then they start gabbling away in the ET lingo, and this guy still has my arm. So while he's distracted I take the opportunity to examine the fur in closer detail. It looked like normal fur. Wooly undercoat - handy for insulation. The muscles underneath were quite firm and felt like they were in a similar arrangement to human muscles. I was wishing I had my notebook handy. I was looking in detail at the clothes when I realised they'd stopped gabbling and were both looking at me. The big brown guy drops his jaw and shows all his teeth. Boy, he's got a lot. I don't think these guys are vegetarian. But I swear those are rodent incisors he's got.  
  
Goldie goes around to the other side of the car and jumps into the passenger seat. Brownie gestures with his gun thing at the driver's side. Well, like I have a lot of choice here. I could refuse, but hey; then I'd either be dead or stranded and dead. So I get in. He gets in the back. Goldie points South and jabbers something at me. Okay, I get it. I put on my seatbelt and start the car. We move of, and they start jabbering again. Meanwhile I'm looking at the carphone and wondering how the heck I can communicate to someone that I'm being abducted by aliens. "Yes, hello, Alice Springs police station? Hi, it's Red here, I'm being abducted by aliens, could you send a squad car please?" Oh yes, that would go down a treat. I sigh. Goldie shows his teeth. I sure hope that's a smile. 


	2. Aliens in my backyard!

We drive for about an hour before Goldie gestures off road. Great. Civilisation is just getting further and further away. I'm starting to get nervous. I mean, what do these guys want? If they're looking for my leader, he's about 4000km south-east. Do these guys even know where we're going? Do they know how dry it is out here and how easy it is to die? And what the heck are their plans for me? They don't really look like the anal probe type. Which is good, except they look more like the carnivorous human-eating type. I'm running the contents of my esky through my head and hoping they don't get hungry anytime soon.   
  
Another hour of bush-bashing and a whole lot of dust and Brownie jabbers something to Goldie and Goldie gestures off to the left. Maybe they want a pit stop? I pull into the shade of a pile of red rocks with a few scraggly eucalypts. Brownie hands his gun to Goldie and hops out. And then he climbs the rocks. No kidding, he's like a monkey. Must be all that muscle. And what do you know? He's got a funny metal tail. I sneak a peek at Goldie's tail, but no, it looks like flesh. I wonder what happened to Brownie that he got a metal one? Maybe they're cyborgs or something, and he lost the skin covering? I'm getting nervous again; that's the worst of having an imagination. Maybe I can get to the boot and get that trank gun.  
  
"Hey, look, I have to, uh, get something out of the boot, ok?" I smile at Goldie, without teeth, and hope he doesn't think it's a threat gesture. I open the door. He's looking at me, but not doing anything. Ok. I ease outside. He's looking wary. Not that I would know, but I'm guessing here. Okay, think quick.   
  
"Woman's trouble," I say, pointing to my belly. His eyebrows go up under his hair. Okay, maybe that will convince him. God only knows what he thinks I said, but it seems to work. I edge around and open the boot. Quickly slip out the trank gun. Car door is opening. Trank vial in the slot. Hope it's enough. Footsteps. Look up. He's got the gun pointed down. I fire straight into his belly. That'll go down fast.   
  
He grunts and looks down, then grabs my arm. And it hurts. He's strong, and he's being none to gentle with those claws. He wrestles the gun out of my hand, but he's definately going down! Yes! He's swaying. Unfortunately I'm going down with him because he's not letting go. Ow. I fall onto his chest as he drops and wrench at his fingers. It's like a steel grip and I can't even budge them a little. But finally he goes limp and I wriggle free. Whew. I rush to the front of the car and look for Brownie. No sign of him. Great! I have the gun and one of them is unconscious. Ok. I am in control. I repeat, I am in control.  
  
I rush back and grab the ET gun. I also load another trank into my gun in case Brownie gets ructious. Ok. I can get Brownie to load Goldie in the car, and then I'll tie him up in the back and drive to the Alice. No problems. I grab some of the winch rope out of the back and cut off a few hanks. A few half-hitches and Goldie is all trussed up. Lovely. Time for a drink.   
  
I've got my head in the boot when I hear some rocks come down. I carefully put myself on the other side of the car. Brownie comes down and sees Goldie and rushes towards him. Just as I planned. He leanes over him and feels at Goldie's chest. Now.  
  
"Okay Brownie, hands up!" I say boldly, stepping out from behind the car. Brownie whips around. Boy is he fast. His eyebrows go way up when he sees that I've got the gun. I smirk. It's hard not to. I don't like being abducted by strange men, especially strange aliens. Not that I ever have been before. But you know what I mean. I gesticulate with the gun.   
  
"Hands up!" Brownie eases them up slowly. He's craning around to look at something on the gun, I can't figure out what. Then he grins and stands up, and starts walking towards me. @#%$! I press the trigger. Nothing happens. Can you believe it, the thing has a safety catch and I have no idea where it is. I drop the ET gun, whip out the trank gun and pop off a vial. I'll say it again, he can move! His eyebrows go up again but he's gone before I even fire almost. Where the hell is he? I turn around but he's already there and I'm now without any type of gun and he plops me on my butt in the dirt. Well! I'm up like a jack-in-the-box but I shouldn't have bothered, because he just plops me right back down again, then puts a foot on my chest and examines the gun. How humiliating! I struggle, but then he puts a little weight on and I decide not to, because I get the feeling there's a lot more where that came from. So I just lie there.   
  
He fiddles with the trank gun and then pulls out the other vial. He breaks it open and has a sniff. "Why don't you try eating it?" I say sweetly. He looks at me and flicks his ears, so I know he heard, but of course, witty repartee is lost on him. And then he laughs. He laughs! That just makes me even madder, and it doesn't help when he stoops down, grabs me, and throws me over his shoulder like a sack of grain. I kick and bite and try and punch him in the kidneys, or where I think his kidneys might be, but I stop pretty quickly. It's like punching a horse.  
  
Brownie plops me down against the rear tire and reaches into the boot. I take the opportunity to run like a rabbit. I know, I know, why bother? But there is such a thing as pride, you know. So I get about 10 paces before Brownie catches me and carries me back. He's got some of that winch cable in his hand. The bugger! That was my idea.  
  
He's pretty talkative while he's trussing my wrists, and I have to say, in retrospect, that it's a pretty language, all sibilants and accents and soft growls. But I'm not in any mood to appreciate it at the moment and so I start giving him some back. "I suppose you think you have the right to just come down here and truss up innocent people, huh? You bully! This better not be some sort of alien macho thing, because I'm going to be very pissed off, and anyway, I'm not your type!" It wasn't the greatest of speeches, and I'm really glad Stoker can't remember what I said, now that he can speak english. It's better for me if he doesn't know. Less for him to tease me about. But I digress.  
  
So the infuriating bugger finishes trussing me up and pats me on the head. He's still smiling. Then Goldie starts to stir. I knew I should have given him a double dose. A fully grown Red Kangarro is big, but not as big as these guys. I make a mental note to knock them out more, if I ever get the chance. Brownie walks over to Goldie and crouches down beside him. I plan all sorts of dire revenges over the next few minutes while Goldie twitches and comes around. Brownie slaps him on the cheek, none too gently I might add, and he's grinning like a maniac. Goldie wakes up and looks at him and says something, and then looks at the rope on his hands and says something else, and then Brownie is laughing out loud and talking and I just know from the look on Goldie's face that he is getting the ribbing of his life.   
  
Anyway, he chats back to Brownie and then Brownie unties the rope and they stand up and Goldie staggers around a bit. Then they go on the longest ET jabber-fest I have yet heard; gesticulating and pointing into the distance and finally crouching down in the dirt and drawing some sort of map. I'm guessing that's what it was because I leaned over and it looked like wiggly lines and lumps and such which is all a map ever is. Brownie sees me looking and comes over. He pulls me too my feet and leads me to the map. Then he starts talking to me and pointing at the map. I have no idea what he's talking about. So I wave my arms and say "jabber jabber!" at him. Ok, that wasn't the most mature thing to do, but I wasn't in a good mood. And my butt was really hurting from being plonked on so much.  
  
I think he got the hint because he grinned again and said something to Goldie, who scuffed out the map with his boot. Then he lead me to the car and put me in the back seat. Oho, so you're going to drive the car, hey? This should be interesting. I smirk for a moment then remember that it's an automatic. Damnit. And of course the keys are still in the ignition. Fabulous. Why didn't I hide them? And I even left it in park for them! I'm a lot better at this "enemy agent" stuff now, but at the time, it was my first abduction. So you'll have to forgive me for being a bit naieve.  
  
Anyway there's a brief argument about who gets in the drivers seat but Goldie wins and hops in. He turns the key and of course, she starts like a dream. It takes him about 2 seconds to figure out the pedals and another few for the gears. We go backwards briefly but any fool could work that out and we're off before you know it. I guess if you can pilot a spaceship you can drive anything.   
  
I sit up and put my seatbelt on. Heck, if we crash, I want to be the one to walk away. And the way this guy drives, crashing seems to be a real possibility. He's going much too fast for the terrain and he obviously doesn't believe in going around things when he can go over them. I'm really getting thrown around in the back here and I'm glad I've got my belt on. But my gear is going to be ruined. Every time we go over a bump I'm sure I can hear something else breaking.  
  
So we drive like this for ages before he finally stops. I'm so mad I release my seatbelt, open the car door, jump out and slam it really hard. I'm about to go into full yelling mode when Brownie dashes up behind me and slaps a hand over my mouth. "Ey't'ena jssaa'aat". I have no idea what he said, but he's speaking really quietly, so I'm guessing there's someone around here that Brownie wants to keep hidden from. But that doesn't mean I want to keep hidden from them. I nod, and he seems satisfied that I mean ok. He takes my arm and follows Goldie, who leads us up the slope. Near the top Goldie and Brownie drop to the ground, and I get pulled down too, but not too hard, which is a relief, because I'm really starting to ache now. We crawl to the top and look over. And I swear to you, those unbelievers who think we're alone in the galaxy, not only are we not alone, those ET's are living among us. I had proof of that when I looked down that slope and saw the Southern Plutarkian Base for the first time. I didn't know at the time that's what it was called, but that's what it was. The biggest aggregation of aggressive alien species in the southern hemisphere. I got a shiver up my spine then, like someone was walking over my grave, and though it was easy 38 degrees, I was freezing cold. There were aliens in the middle of Australia, and by the looks of it, they had been there a long time. I'm not a catholic, but I made the sign of the cross, just in case. 


	3. Calm before the storm

Brownie pulls on my arm gently and motions back down the slope. That sounds like a great idea to me and I wriggle down a bit and then jog back to the car pretty darn fast. Holy Moses. I mean, there are ALIENS living in the midst of us! Building some big alien base for God only knows what purpose. I've got to tell someone. I mean, it can't be good, right? If they were nice aliens, they would have contacted us, said hi, you know, maybe asked permission. Dinner with the Prime Minister, maybe a ticker-tape parade. So I head straight to the carphone. I'm going to call someone. Someone has to know about this.  
  
Unfortunately I forgot about the other aliens, the ones holding me captive. I was just punching in the numbers, a little clumsily since my hands were still tied, when Brownie pulls me away from the phone. I try to struggle out of his grip but he's not having any of it. Okay, time to try reason on this guy.  
  
"Look, I have to call the police, ok? The POLICE. P-O-L-I-" What the heck am I doing? If he can't speak he can't spell. I try a different tack.  
  
"You," I say, pointing to his chest. He looks where I'm pointing. "No no", I say, waving my hands in front of him. Now he's watching my hands. "No, look." I point to me. Now he's looking at my chest. This is not going well. Goldie comes over to see what we're doing. Good, props. I point to Goldie. Now they're looking at each other. For Pete's sake. Goldie says something to Brownie then looks at me.  
  
"Trrrruhdel", says Goldie, dropping his jaw in that grin thing.  
  
"Look, I don't know what that means, but we have to CALL someone!" I say, pointing at the car. Goldie points to his chest and says "Trrrruhdel" again. He slaps a hand down on Brownie's shoulder, hard enough to make Brownie grunt, and says "Zztokehr." I have to say I'm not too quick on the uptake when I'm scared, and I was plenty scared after what had happened today, so it took a few more repititions before I got it.  
  
"Oh!" I say. Witty-comments-r-us, that's me. Their names sound like "Throttle" and "Stoker" to me. That's probably not right, but it's the closest I can get to all those rolled r's and throaty growls. I can say them correctly now, but I had to improvise back then.  
  
"Uh, Red," I say, pointing to my chest.  
  
"Ahhrrreht?" says Brownie.  
  
"No, Red."  
  
"Nohrreht?" says Goldie.  
  
"No! Just..." I take a deep breath. Not one for the diplomacy corps, me. "Red. RED."  
  
"Rrrreht?"  
  
"Close enough." I wonder what they'd make of Mary-Sue? Nevermind. I try with the reason again. I point to the car phone, and mime holding the handset up to my ear.  
  
"We have to call someone." I point north towards Alice. "We have to bring someone down here." How do you mime that? Now I wish I'd played charades more as a kid. I point to us all and mime driving, then point towards Alice again. It would help a lot if they wouldn't look so...so...politely amused. It's getting really annoying. Finally I give up and throw my hands in the air. I stalk around to the boot. I need a drink. Stoker follows me.  
  
"I'm just getting a drink!" I say, a bit snappishly I have to admit. I fossick out the canteen and take a long pull. It's been a hot day and I only had the one drink early on, so I'm getting a bit headachy. The water isn't cold but when you're thirsty, it tastes wonderful. I hand the canteen to Stoker. You don't hog water in the outback. Stoker takes it with a smile and then tests to see how much is in there.  
  
"It's ok, I have more," I say, pulling back my tent canvas and pointing to the big cask in the back. Stoker nods and takes a long swig. Then he whistles low at Throttle, and tosses the canteen to him. Then he leans over and starts rummaging in the boot. Well, go ahead. You've already abducted me and my car, you tied me up and you won't let me call the police. Why not dig around in my stuff? I turn and lean on the bumper bar. I should be setting my trap lines now, putting bait on the little treadles and getting my catching gear ready. I sigh. The outback is putting on a real show this evening; the sky is flame red as far as the eye can see, fading to blue and purple above. And there's not a cloud on the horizon.  
  
I leave Stoker to investigate my stuff and wander over and sit down on a rock, first checking for spiders, snakes, scorpions, ants and cave weta's. I know, I know, there are no cave weta's in Australia, but I'm sure they have some relatives here so I always check. The stars are giving another awesome display but they aren't so nice to look at now. They're kind of scary when you think what's out there, moving among them, honing in on our little blue haven in space. Throttle comes over and hunkers down in the dirt beside me. He points up to the stars and starts talking. Maybe he's talking about his homeworld. I don't know. I can't understand him, but it's nice to have company. I'm feeling very alone right now. He doesn't talk for long before Stoker calls him over, and I'm alone with my thoughts again.  
  
Later, much later, I'm sitting with my back against the car and watching Stoker and Throttle talking in hushed tones. I shiver. Forty degrees by day but it gets pretty cold at night. Would be handy right now to have fur. And I'm starving. I haven't had anything since morning tea. And I'm tired. And sick of being held captive by Alvin the chipmunk on steroids. I'd get mad, but I'm too tired. Anyway, I feel much more like crying. Then I have a happy thought; there's half a block of chocolate in the esky, leftovers from my going away party. As soon as I think of it, my mouth starts watering. Oh yes, I would really love half a block of chocolate right now. My stomach growls in sympathy. The heck with these guys. I'm hungry.  
  
I get up and go back to the boot. I don't know if Stoker found the esky in his investigations or not, but my block of chocolate is still pushed behind the tomatoes where I left it. Lovely. I pull it out, and then feel a bit guilty. Well, if they were hungry, I'm sure they'd say so. With this virtuous and selfish thought in my head I break off a few heavenly pieces and pop them in my mouth. Oh yes. That is so much better already. It's sweet and smooth and just full of lovely things like sugar and caffiene and it's so heavenly. Or is it? I sniff. Okay, something must be off in the esky. Phew! The smell must be clinging to the paper wrapper. I pull it off and walk away from the boot a bit. Nope, the smell is still there. Maybe the potatoes are rotten? I walk back and pull out the potato bag. Nope, they smell fine. Well how weird is that? I can't think what else would make that sort of smell. Maybe there's a dead roo around here somewhere? But why didn't I smell it during the day?  
  
Suddenly the ground under my feet trembles. Hey, it happens, and more often than you think. There's a fault line that runs south of Bajool and we often get little tremors out here. I thought it was quite normal. Until Throttle appeared, grabbed me and dragged me around to the side of the car. The remains of my chocolate goes flying.  
  
"Hey! Relax, it's just a little quake. The centre is miles from here," I say. Ouch, I wish these guys wouldn't grip so hard. He's not listening though. Stoker puts a finger to his lips. Well, that signal translates well. I shut up and listen. They'll quiet down when nothing happens. But the rumbling is getting louder. Okay, maybe it's not a quake. But what the heck is it? Their ears are going a mile a minute, flicking back and forth like crazy. I've seen dogs do that. I bet they can hear for miles, pick up crickets underground, that sort of thing.  
  
The rumbling is getting louder and I'm getting nervous, thinking about that alien base just over the ridge and I'm beginning to think it might be them. then I look at Stoker and Throttle and it dawns on me that they KNOW something is coming and that scares me even more. I'm just about to suggest we get in the car and get the hell out of there when Throttle throws me prone and shoves me under the car. For the love of...!  
  
"Hey! That hurt!" I roll over to glare at him but he's gone. Well! I crawl towards the edge of the car but then I stop. Now that I'm lying on the ground I can feel it shaking and my mouth goes dry. Suddenly the area is lit up like it's daylight and something huge, like a big round metal plate thuds into the ground near the car. I scream. I can't help it. More of these things appear and in the light I can see they are the feet of these huge two-legged walking machines, like on Star Wars. There are three of them and they're running around, flashing these big searchlights everywhere and I can hear shouting and then the most almighty stench I have ever smelled anywhere washes over me. It's like a landfill in the hot sun, a thousand roadkills, the biggest compost heap in the world. I'm choking and gagging and I crawl outside. I have to get some air. I can't even see, my eyes are watering so much.  
  
I crawl out and crouch down beside the car, trying desperately to draw breath and wipe my stinging eyes. It must be some sort of mustard gas or something. Finally my eyes clear a bit and I can look around. And what I see makes me crawl back under that car really fast. One of those big walker things is coming right at me and just as I get under the car, the spotlight hits it. I hope to God they didn't see me. And I hope to God they don't decide to step on the car.  
  
I don't believe it. This is the second night in a row that I've be huddled under the car with my hands over my head, wondering if I'm going to die. This isn't fair! I don't care what those fur-covered maniacs do; first thing tomorrow I'm driving back to the Alice. Just let them try and stop me!  
  
Assuming I survive the night, that is. 


End file.
